There are few messages that have affected my marriage, parenting, and pastoral life more than this message (and outline). Kenneth Maresco explains how the gospel changes the way we relate to one another and I think putting this message into practice greatly impact the church today. I have recently been going through this message again (for the 7th or 8th time) because I am teaching on this subject soon and I thought I would pass on some tidbits his teaching to you. When speaking of how we should give and receive input from others, Maresco gives some helpful responses that most of us may find familiar.
Why do we not pursue fellowship and confess sins?
1. I don’t need help on this one; I know what to do.
2. Do I really need help? After all I am a _____ (godly husband and father, CGL, pastor, etc).
3. I’ll confess it when I’ve repented completely.
4. I’ve got the Bible, I’ve got the Holy Spirit, I ought to be able to handle this myself.
5. It was not a “big” sin, so it’s not that big a deal.
6. It’s not a besetting sin, just occasional. I can just use the materials everyone recommended.
7. They’re just going to tell me what I already know.
8. I can change on my own. I don’t really need the help of others.
9. This is something I’m working on.
10. I’m making progress so I don’t need to share this.
11. I can just apply the counsel I’ve already received.
12. It’s not a strength, but it’s probably not really a sin either.
13. I see the heart issues clearly already.
14. They know this is a problem, so I don’t need to confess it again.
15. I’ve already repented and made changes.
16. I’ve confessed it to God and my wife.
17. I’ve already confessed it to people who know me better.
18. Other problems in the group are bigger than this.
19. They don’t really understand my struggle.
20. I’ve got so much work to do. I need to be a good steward of my time and responsibilities.
21. This is more serious than these folks can handle.
22. I don’t know if I can trust them with this information.
23. They will lose all respect for me if I share this.
24. They are busy, too busy to hear my confession right now.
25. I don’t know that I’ll ever really change in this area.
26. I don’t think folks in my group are strong in this either.
27. They won’t respond well if I confess again.
28. What would happen if they really knew about this in my life?
29. I want a reputation of having my life under control and people to think I can handle all of life's challenges and discern my own sins.
30. I don't want to look bad, I don't want to look bad, I don't want to look bad.
1. I don’t need help on this one; I know what to do.
2. Do I really need help? After all I am a _____ (godly husband and father, CGL, pastor, etc).
3. I’ll confess it when I’ve repented completely.
4. I’ve got the Bible, I’ve got the Holy Spirit, I ought to be able to handle this myself.
5. It was not a “big” sin, so it’s not that big a deal.
6. It’s not a besetting sin, just occasional. I can just use the materials everyone recommended.
7. They’re just going to tell me what I already know.
8. I can change on my own. I don’t really need the help of others.
9. This is something I’m working on.
10. I’m making progress so I don’t need to share this.
11. I can just apply the counsel I’ve already received.
12. It’s not a strength, but it’s probably not really a sin either.
13. I see the heart issues clearly already.
14. They know this is a problem, so I don’t need to confess it again.
15. I’ve already repented and made changes.
16. I’ve confessed it to God and my wife.
17. I’ve already confessed it to people who know me better.
18. Other problems in the group are bigger than this.
19. They don’t really understand my struggle.
20. I’ve got so much work to do. I need to be a good steward of my time and responsibilities.
21. This is more serious than these folks can handle.
22. I don’t know if I can trust them with this information.
23. They will lose all respect for me if I share this.
24. They are busy, too busy to hear my confession right now.
25. I don’t know that I’ll ever really change in this area.
26. I don’t think folks in my group are strong in this either.
27. They won’t respond well if I confess again.
28. What would happen if they really knew about this in my life?
29. I want a reputation of having my life under control and people to think I can handle all of life's challenges and discern my own sins.
30. I don't want to look bad, I don't want to look bad, I don't want to look bad.
Why do we not share questions/concerns with other?
1. It’s not a pattern, so I should overlook it.
2. It was very minor; it’s not that big a deal. It’s not that important.
3. I’m not in relationship with that person.
4. Can I raise a question with the man who trained me?
5. I can overlook this, but I won’t forget it.
6. I don’t have time for this.
7. I wasn’t really offended or affected by what they did.
8. Someone else/ someone closer will share if it’s a pattern
9. They probably didn’t intend to offend.
10. It wasn’t really sin.
11. No one else seemed concerned.
12. They will think I’m self-righteous.
13. They know I struggle with the same thing.
14. I’ve not gone through what they’re going through.
1. It’s not a pattern, so I should overlook it.
2. It was very minor; it’s not that big a deal. It’s not that important.
3. I’m not in relationship with that person.
4. Can I raise a question with the man who trained me?
5. I can overlook this, but I won’t forget it.
6. I don’t have time for this.
7. I wasn’t really offended or affected by what they did.
8. Someone else/ someone closer will share if it’s a pattern
9. They probably didn’t intend to offend.
10. It wasn’t really sin.
11. No one else seemed concerned.
12. They will think I’m self-righteous.
13. They know I struggle with the same thing.
14. I’ve not gone through what they’re going through.
1 comment:
Great post brother! These are excellent questions. Thanks for sharing them.
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