James and Janet are a pretty typical American couple. They each work hard and they love their son and daughter. Like most families, they are very busy. Their son, Bobby, is 7 years old and enjoys his elementary school and soccer team. Their daughter, Belle, is 3 years old and enjoys her preschool/day care and pulling everything off a bookshelf when she has the chance!
James and Janet have recently been convicted of an aspect of their parenting though. They realized that they have been so busy, that they have not really been parenting Bobby and Belle as much as just "care giving." They get the children to the places they need to go. They make sure they are clothed and well fed, but they realized that they don't actually know what specific ways they are trying to help their children grow in godly character or what spiritual goals they have for their children. James realized that most of the spiritual training his children are receiving was at church, yet he is convinced that the bible teaches that parents are to be the primary teachers of the to their children and the church should be the icing on the cake.
James and Janet have recently been convicted of an aspect of their parenting though. They realized that they have been so busy, that they have not really been parenting Bobby and Belle as much as just "care giving." They get the children to the places they need to go. They make sure they are clothed and well fed, but they realized that they don't actually know what specific ways they are trying to help their children grow in godly character or what spiritual goals they have for their children. James realized that most of the spiritual training his children are receiving was at church, yet he is convinced that the bible teaches that parents are to be the primary teachers of the to their children and the church should be the icing on the cake.
Many good, Christian parents can fall into a similar situation. I know the temptation from my own parenting. We can get distracted with house projects and other activities and neglect our children. We can even commit to many good things, yet by doing them we are neglecting the spiritual training that is called for in "biblical parenting." I know people who have very young children and yet they barely know the children because they are never around them. The preschool potty trains them, the after school program brings structure and discipline, while the parents meet the physical needs of food, clothes, and a place to sleep. Obviously, this is not the case for all of Christian parents, but I think the questions for us to examine are for all parents.
Are we, as parents, specifically and intentionally parenting?
Do we have spiritual goals and areas where we are seeking to train our children?
Are we aware of our children's temptations and tendencies?
If any of these questions are answered with a fog in your head or a slight hesitation, I would encourage you to have a conversation with your spouse about your parenting. My wife and I have found it profitable to have "parenting objectives" in which we know we are on the same page in the training of our kids. Seeking to be intentional in parenting helps in bringing consistency in our parenting and thus, not exasperating our kids. It is helpful to step back and evaluate. So, am I really parenting my kids or just being a care giver? It is a good question ask.
1 comments:
Mike, I often comment here when I disagree with you, so I wanted to take the time to comment when I agreed with you. You are right on in your comments on parenting. As a teacher (both secular and biblical), I became convinced a number of years ago that we needed, as a Church, to become more deliberate and strategic in how we parent. Good job!
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