The pull for a pastor's wife to know where she should spend time is a hard one. There are ladies at church, ladies in the neighborhood, her husband, her children, those serving in similar ministries, those who are younger, those who are older...and the list goes on.
Recently, I was reviewing my notes from my year at the Sovereign Grace Ministries Pastors College. I read through some of the answers that C.J. and Carolyn Mahaney had when we (the Pastors College students and wives) asked questions. One of the ladies asked Carolyn how she decided who to pour into and when. Carolyn said that the way to answer this question begins with your priorities. Your roles as a wife and mother come before your role as a pastor's wife. "The way to serve as a pastor's wife is first to care for the home." She stressed that each season of a woman's life is different so the ability and amount of time to pour into other ladies will vary. The infant/toddler years and the teen years of parenting are the most demanding. She emphasized that the pastor's wife's priority of the home will bear fruit, especially as other ladies see her example.
Carolyn also clarified that every pastor's wife will have different gifts and abilities. The way one lady may be able to serve with ease in many areas should not set the standard for how all ladies are expected to serve in their role as a pastor's wife. Every lady has a different capacity and different gifting.