Feminism’s Failure

Nancy Leigh DeMoss said, “The feminist revolution was supposed to make us feel better about ourselves, bringing us greater fulfillment and freedom. Yet many of us are feeling anything but fulfilled and free. Across generational lines, inside the church and out, we are understanding that we have lost the beauty and wonder of our distinctive makeup and calling as women. We are realizing that what was supposed to lift us up has been tearing down society, churches, and most importantly, our own families.”

Many ladies are feeling the same way as Mrs. DeMoss and this blog post cannot give all of the cures to overcome the feminist revolution. I also think that it may be more helpful to you (if you are a female) to read the critiques and thoughts about feminism from some sisters in Christ instead of from a man.

Here is a great articles by Rebecca Jones called "Does Christianity Squash Women?"

Another great resource that Christian women should read is Biblical Womanhood in the Home by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Husbands, these are great resources to provide for our wives and can be fruitful topics of discussion as we seek to encourage and love our spouses.

An Abuse of Manhood

I remember when I was in youth group and one Wednesday night one of the guys was being mischievous and telling all of the young ladies that they must submit to him. He was trying to tempt the ladies to anger and was taking many passages of Scripture out of context for his own selfish argument. A few weeks later, we found out that he had been arrested for sexually abusing one of the young ladies. There is definitely a link between an abuse of Scripture and an abuse on biblical roles.

Some might read the above story and say that we should react to this abusive situation and stop reading those Scriptures literally. I would say we should read them in their contexts and if they were really being applied correctly, there would be no sexual abuse. A true biblical view of manhood and womanhood shows men who respected women and treat them in the highest regard. These are guys that hold the door for ladies, encourage them in their specific feminine roles, and value their wisdom. These men also value modesty, sexual purity, and encourage their sisters in Christ in these area.

Men and women are equal in their standing before God and there should be no oppression to ladies. Where there is masculine “heavy-handedness” there is no “biblical manhood.” Where there are wives leading their husbands, there is no “biblical womanhood.” Men and women are equal in personhood, yet different in their functional roles. This is God’s idea set forth is the Bible and not an idea set forth by a sexist teenager.

Parent Talk 101

Have you ever had a job in which your boss didn’t really communicate with you as to whether you were doing a good job or you were not doing well? You worked hard, but were never quite sure if you were doing exactly what your boss wanted. I think these types of relationships are not just confined to an employment setting. I think that many parent/child relationships suffer of the same lack of communication. I am not saying that a parent is to be an authoritarian boss toward his or her kids, but I do think that it is a big parental problem.

A good question to ask ourselves in battling this deficiency is, “At the end of the day are my kids more aware of areas in their lives that I think need to change or are they more aware of where God is at work?” This has been a transforming question for me and my wife.

Our job as parents is to point out God’s grace in the life of our children and make sure they are aware of where God is changing them. Heavy handedness does not bring permanent change, but God’s grace does. God is changing us and He is changing our children. To withhold pointing out these evidences of grace is an act of selfishness and pride on our part.

If it has been more than a week since you have shared with your kids about where you see God at work in their lives, it has been too long. Please stop reading my blog and go encourage your children.

The Value of Women

"I think it is important to affirm that there is no system of religion that exalts women higher than biblical Christianity. That is quite a claim, I realize, but one that can be easily proven by examining Scripture and comparing what Scripture says about women to the way they are treated by other religions or by those who adhere to no religion. Those who think the Bible is unfair to women and somehow feel they need to raise the status of women always end up damaging women."

Tim Challies makes some bold claims that I think are completely true in his blog...check it out.

Growing Up Christian

Last night, my family and I went on a picnic at a local park and then walked over to the playground for our girls to run around and enjoy the swings and slides. While we were there we started a conversation with another family that was enjoying time together. The father of the family told me his name was Karl and he was a high school principle. We discussed our kid’s names and how long they had lived in the area. The conversation continued and I realized that the guy I was speaking with was Karl Graustein, the author of Growing Up Christian. I asked him, “Is your last name Graustein” (which I horribly mispronounced) and he said it was. I said, “I love your book and I used it in a talk I did a few months ago.” Karl was a humble guy who showed great love for his family.

If you haven’t read this book it is excellent. It basically speaks to teenagers and parents of teenagers and the unique temptations of growing up in the church. Graustein says, “Why do we often lack gratefulness for God, the Bible, our parents, and our church? It’s usually for the same reason we lack gratefulness for the abilities to speak, eat, and walk—we’ve grown familiar with them.” Though Growing Up Christian is primarily targeting teens and their parents, I found it helpful to see what temptations my young children will face in the future.

Honor Not Spoken Is Honor Not Given

How many times do you think of something good to say to your spouse or your children, but you never get around to saying it. I heard a friend of mine, Gary Ricucci say, “Honor not spoken is honor not given.”

This advice was helpful for me in thinking how much more I need to show appreciation for my wife and kids. There are many ways to show your thankfulness to them and point out God’s work in their life, but I can think of two specific ways that we have been trying to do that lately in the Seaver household.

Privately…yes, it could be awkward at the dinner table, but you should seek to gear the conversation to honor your spouse and kids. Men should lead in this, but the wife should joyfully submit this suggestion to her husband if he hasn’t thought of it…(we, men, are often slower than you ladies…).

On Saturday morning, my family and I had “family day” and went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast (country breakfast cuisine). During the breakfast, we went around the table and expressed areas we saw God working in the life of the particular member of the family and then also why we were thankful for them. My two year old said that she was thankful for my wife because “she eats pancakes with me.” Though my wife knows that my daughter said this because she was eating pancakes at the time, this is a way for my kids to honor their mother at an early age. I want my family to see where God is at work in the lives of those they are with on a daily basis.

Publicly…if giving honor privately is awkward, often giving honor publicly can be more awkward. It does not have to be though. Usually when we withhold honor from someone, it is because of our own pride. (at least, I know it is that way for me.)

My friend, Brian does a great job showing his gratitude for his wife and daughters in front of people…and for Brian, the more people around, the better! He seeks to lavish his love and affection on his wife and four daughters by saying, “Laura (his wife) is so humble in the way she serves and never complains” and “God has blessed me with daughters who care for one another and seek to obey Christ.” He publicly speaks highly of his family and never seeks to put them down. He is a great example of a man living out biblical manhood.

So, how are you doing at honoring those around you because, “honor not spoken is honor not given.”

The Way We View Sex

C.J. Mahaney says, "Touch her heart and mind before you ever touch her body." I think that is good advise and would probably serve many husbands about the way they view their sexual relationship.

My wife and I say, "I am a microwave and she is a crock pot." I've also heard the analogy that men are like dressers and women are like closets. Men just close the "work drawer" or the "kids are sick" drawer or the "mortgage is past due" drawer and open up the "sex drawer." One drawer does not effect the others. Women, however, see the whole picture. They see the closet and the "sex shelf" is right beside the "I can't believe my friend didn't call" shelf and the "potty training our two year old" shelf. This is why husbands need to deliberately romance their wives. Just as Mahaney says, we need to touch our wives heart and mind before we touch her body.

If this is a topic that you want study more, there are some helpful sermons here (the ones called "purity series," especially #1-3, but all of them are great) and here is a link to C.J's book.

Doggonit!!!

It seems like there is a trend of people getting dogs instead of wanting to have children. Al Mohler has an interesting post talking about this subject.