Accountable Pastors, Accountable Churches

There are few messages that have affected my marriage, parenting, and pastoral life more than this message (and outline). Kenneth Maresco explains how the gospel changes the way we relate to one another and I think putting this message into practice greatly impact the church today. I have recently been going through this message again (for the 7th or 8th time) because I am teaching on this subject soon and I thought I would pass on some tidbits his teaching to you. When speaking of how we should give and receive input from others, Maresco gives some helpful responses that most of us may find familiar.

Why do we not pursue fellowship and confess sins?
1. I don’t need help on this one; I know what to do.
2. Do I really need help? After all I am a _____ (godly husband and father, CGL, pastor, etc).
3. I’ll confess it when I’ve repented completely.
4. I’ve got the Bible, I’ve got the Holy Spirit, I ought to be able to handle this myself.
5. It was not a “big” sin, so it’s not that big a deal.
6. It’s not a besetting sin, just occasional. I can just use the materials everyone recommended.
7. They’re just going to tell me what I already know.
8. I can change on my own. I don’t really need the help of others.
9. This is something I’m working on.
10. I’m making progress so I don’t need to share this.
11. I can just apply the counsel I’ve already received.
12. It’s not a strength, but it’s probably not really a sin either.
13. I see the heart issues clearly already.
14. They know this is a problem, so I don’t need to confess it again.
15. I’ve already repented and made changes.
16. I’ve confessed it to God and my wife.
17. I’ve already confessed it to people who know me better.
18. Other problems in the group are bigger than this.
19. They don’t really understand my struggle.
20. I’ve got so much work to do. I need to be a good steward of my time and responsibilities.
21. This is more serious than these folks can handle.
22. I don’t know if I can trust them with this information.
23. They will lose all respect for me if I share this.
24. They are busy, too busy to hear my confession right now.
25. I don’t know that I’ll ever really change in this area.
26. I don’t think folks in my group are strong in this either.
27. They won’t respond well if I confess again.
28. What would happen if they really knew about this in my life?
29. I want a reputation of having my life under control and people to think I can handle all of life's challenges and discern my own sins.
30. I don't want to look bad, I don't want to look bad, I don't want to look bad.

Why do we not share questions/concerns with other?
1. It’s not a pattern, so I should overlook it.
2. It was very minor; it’s not that big a deal. It’s not that important.
3. I’m not in relationship with that person.
4. Can I raise a question with the man who trained me?
5. I can overlook this, but I won’t forget it.
6. I don’t have time for this.
7. I wasn’t really offended or affected by what they did.
8. Someone else/ someone closer will share if it’s a pattern
9. They probably didn’t intend to offend.
10. It wasn’t really sin.
11. No one else seemed concerned.
12. They will think I’m self-righteous.
13. They know I struggle with the same thing.
14. I’ve not gone through what they’re going through.

Thinking on reThink

I've been reading reThink the last few days and rethinking the youth ministry that I used to do. Wow, I messed up a lot! Here is an excerpt from the book that I thought was insightful in showing that the modern day youth ministry is not working and in fact the addition of parents to a student ministry is wholly biblical. Steve Wright says,

"God started the first family and ordained it as the institution for not only reproduction but also primary discipleship. Think of Deuteronomy 6:4-9,

'Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.'

The importance of this passage, called the Shema is magnified when we consider the practice of Orthodox Jews who recite it twice a day, morning and evening. Of all the great Old Testament passages concerning creation, faith, God's provisions, the coming Messiah, commandments, repentance and forgiveness, I am amazed that it was this passage that God impressed on them to repeat daily. We also know that in case we missed the importance the first time, the Lord repeated these same instructions to parents in Deuteronomy 11. All this repetition is more than coincidence; it makes it clear that the Shema is one of the most important passages in the Old Testament, as it instructs parents with their God-given assignment to disciple their children. If it is a foundational principle in the Bible, then it should also be one of the most important foundations of our student ministries. God places the primary responsibility on parents, and how we do ministry must reflect that fact" (page 76-77).

reThink Conference

My friend, Steve Wright, seems to be on to something when he is saying that the modern approach to youth ministry is not working. "What is it missing?" you may ask. Dad and Mom. If you can make the reThink Conference , I don't think you will be disappointed. It is free and I think we all can benefit and learn from these men who have been in ministry for years. Randy Stinson of CBMW is joining Steve Wright for this conference because the implication to changing youth ministry are not just on church, but on the biblical view of the family.

If you can't make the conference, I encourage you to order reThink the book and see what the buzz is about. This book is being used at Southern, Southeastern, and Southwestern seminaries.

Here is another great resource that can be helpful if you are rethinking youth ministry in your church

Battling Sexual Sin

Sex. It is a word that brings an explosion of thoughts to mind once it is read or heard. I remember in Middle School, kids would wear shirts by a brand of surf board wax called "Sex Wax" just because it had the "s" word on it. Now, I lived in Southwest Virginia at the time and the only need for wax was to help the kid's braces not get caught on their cheeks. The fascination with sex and the battle against improper views of sex was at high tide then and it seems like it is now causing flood-like casualties.

On Sunday, my senior pastor, Mickey Connolly, gave an relevant and helpful message from 2 Samuel 11 and 12 speaking of what it looks like to fall into sexual sin and how to battle against this devastating temptation. He gave 16 lessons that can be learned from David and Bathsheba. I am posting them because I found them helpful in reevaluating my own fight against sexual temptation. I hope they help you too.

1. Temptation can come when I least expect it. I must always be on my guard.

2. Sin often happens when I am not positively engaged in godly activities. (when I'm not doing what I am supposed to be doing)

3. I usually have a chance to stop myself if I would only take it. (1 Cor. 10:12)

4. Sin has a way of finding me out...it will be brought to the light.

5. Trying to cover up my sin only makes things worse.

6. One sin often leads to another.

7. Sin tends to harden my heart.

8. Even if no one else is aware, God is aware.

9. It is easier to be outraged at someone else's sin than my own.

10. To sin is to look for good outside of God's perfect provision.

11. Sin never satisfies.

12. Sin always has consequences.

13. Heartfelt repentance is the only appropriate response to sin.

14. While my sin has many manifestations it has only one root--a heart that craves something more than God.

15. Because of the cross, God does not treat me as my sins deserve.

16. While sin affects my life, it need not ruin my life.