Baby Ali

My wife and I had our third daughter last Thursday. We are excited and exhausted, but the Lord gives so much grace. I'll start posting again in a few weeks.

What We Value Shows

A few months ago, I heard David Horner, from Providence Baptist Church in Raleigh, NC give a powerful and insightful illustration. He said that he was looking back at pictures from when his children were younger and noticed a theme. In each of the pictures at least one of the family members in the picture had a North Carolina Tar Heels shirt. He said that picture after picture had someone in the family sporting their favorite college team. Why was UNC so prominent in the pictures? Because the Horner family valued the Tar Heels.

What we value shows up around us...and our children will be watching and imitating us. I think often about what my children see their daddy valuing, loving, and worshipping. Am I more passionate about Tennessee football (which is my favorite college team...though they were horrible this year!) or am I more passionate about seeing those in our neighborhood come to know Jesus as their Savior. Am I more passionate about golf or family time? Am I more passionate about work and answering my cell phone or am I willing to let the phone ring and read to my girls while I'm home? When I am home am I "all home" or is part of my brain still carrying works burdens and stresses? Do my kids see that I love God's word or sports more?

These are all questions I carry and areas I assess. Many times I have failed, but by the kindness and mercy of God, I have also seen fruit of proper passions in my family. It reminds me of the third verse of "Come Thou Fount."

O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be! Let thy
goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee. Prone to wander, Lord,
I feel it, prone to leave the God I love; here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.

May God grant us the humility to evaluate our lives according to His standards.

Parents, Teens, and Reasonable Expecations

In a seminar entitled "Parents, Teens, and Reasonable Expectations" Grant Layman of Covenant Life Church interviewed the Mahaney family (C.J, Carolyn, and kids). This window into a gospel-centered family was envisioning and helpful for my wife and me. The material is a little bit dated (2002), but it is excellent.

Part 1: The Mahaney's: One Family's Experience
Part 2: The Mahaney's: One Family's Experience

The Seminary Dilemma

[I know this post is a bit off topic from "biblical roles," but I feel that the assessment of marriage and parenting is an important element for a future pastor. Thanks for reading.]

My wife and I got married and two weeks after our wedding we moved to seminary. We enjoyed it and it provided a great context as we took classes together and developed many nuances of our theology as we read to each other and talked through class topics and assignments.

During and after seminary a dilemma often went through my mind. I loved my seminary and the days I was there. I loved and still love many of the professors there, but I saw a missing link in how the individual students were assessed. I don't think my seminary was the only one missing this assessment, but it is the only one I have been around.

I remember sitting in class and getting to know students who I thought "Wow, I'm not sure that guy is called to ministry, his marriage seems like it is a mess and his parenting seems nothing like that of the qualification for an elder." Yet, the guy would graduate and because he had his M.Div degree he would get a job as a pastor at a church. They may think that the seminary assessed the guy and the seminary would assume that the sending church (the one that recommended the guy to go to seminary) assessed the guy, but in fact NO ONE assessed him.

So, here is the dilemma. If a seminary begins to assess guys and say, "You know, I really don't think you are called to ministry" or "Your marriage shows you don't even meet the 1 Timothy 3 qualifications for ministry" then the seminary loses students. If the seminary loses students the seminary loses money. If the seminary loses money, the professors lose jobs. If professors lose the jobs, who will do the assessing?

Well, you can tell it is a bit of a mess...or at least a dilemma. Biblically, the church should do the assessing. The seminary technically should not have to do ALL of the assessing, but the seminary student should be thoroughly assessed before he is in school there. However, how does the cycle stop. Who begins doing the assessing?

I think the answer is that both the churches and the seminaries need to assess and be honestly willing to tell a guy "no." Christ is building his church and he desires pastors who have good marriages and good parenting skills to lead his church. Anything less is a compromise. Anything less does not guard a local church who is seeking to hire a new seminary graduate. So, what will be done and who will do it?